No one is adept, we will all find ourselves broken at some point. But the question remains, what do we do? I’ve been broken many times – sickness, loss of a job, derailment of a dream, & heart break. Through it all I’ve learned a fascinating truth: that we are stronger, gentler, more resilient & more beautiful than we imagine. I know this because every time I’ve felt like my heart couldn’t be put back together, not only has it mended but its become larger, stronger & more loving.
Id like to share 3 steps I’ve learned to help heal, restore, & rebuild after breaking.
1. Surrender.
Be honest & admit the truth – we were hurt by someone we loved or we lost something close & it hurts. Allow yourself to feel your true emotions. Let yourself grieve. Grief is a form of validation; it says the wound mattered. Dont be afraid to cry (guys). Tears are healing, they help to open & cleanse the wound. Let them flow freely & watch as they make a pillow for your heart.
2. Let love in.
To be broken is no reason to see all things as broken. There is so much life & vitality all around! When closed, we need to open. When fearful, we need to trust again. When lost, remember we are in the stream of life, which is never lost. When we break, every crack is an opening & what is opened is always more important than what broke us. Be vulnerable & open yourself to being loved.
3. Forgive.
Forgiveness is setting a prisoner free & discovering the prisoner was you. Its a choice. It’s not a feeling, but an act of will. Dont wait to forgive until you feel like it, feelings take time to heal after the choice to forgive is made. Allow yourself to bring the hurt up from your past. If your forgiveness doesn’t visit the emotional core of your life, it will be incomplete. This isn’t saying, “It didn’t matter” Forgiveness says, “It was wrong, it mattered, & I release you.”
If you surrender, let love in, & forgive you’ll feel your heart begin to open. Openness grants us courage to lean into the place where we’re broken, let life rush in, & touch us in the tender place — this is the beginning of resilience!
